Launching Fargo

Hey everybody,

I wanted to take this time to update you on how the tour is going in Fargo. For those of you who have no idea about what I am talking about, I work/volunteer with a ministry called the Impact World Tour (IWT) as a coordinator, organizing city outreaches and discipleship networks. The heart of IWT is to partner with local leadership across the country and the world to help mobilize and awaken the body of Christ to prayer, evangelism, and discipleship to reach this emerging generation. You can also visit www.ywamcampaigns.org to get more info on who we are, or you can just ask me and we can have a great conversation!

The tour up in Fargo however is doing very well. We, with the locals, have decided to call the tour, Impact Red River Vally, so that it applies to the whole region we are trying to reach. Right now we are forming/finalizing our local executive committee that will provide local leadership to the region. In addition, to that we should have our office found and set up in Fargo within the next few weeks. These are huge answers to prayer, and a testimony of God's faithfulness to provide!

Next weekend will be a pivotal weekend in launching the tour in the Red River Valley. On Friday and Saturday (February 4th and 5th), we will be holding our first training/seminar in the area for discipleship that will give the community an introductory look on starting Neighborhood Network Centers through out Fargo in schools, restaurants, coffee shops, homes, etc. This training will then be followed with other trainings sessions provided by us, as well as trainings offered by local youth leaders and Children's Evangelism Fellowship (CEF). We are excited with where God is leading us. He is really calling us to focus on starting these Neighborhood Network Centers to help form a Discipleship Network that will reach out to the community in the neighborhoods. This seminar is the first step in that process.

In addition, to the Discipleship Seminar on Friday and Saturday, we will be having a major dessert banquet on Saturday night, February 5th. The banquet will help us further spread the vision of the Discipleship Networks and IWT to Red River Valley. Currently we have 40 people RSVP'd with still 20 more table hosts waiting to send in their lists. So, we are praying and believing for around 150-200 people to show up. In addition to vision casting, the banquet will be a major push to help us raise the budget needed to have the tour in the Fall. This is a major part of us launching the tour in Fargo.

On Sunday (February 6th) we will have our first Church Kick-Offs up in Fargo. So far we have 3 churches scheduled. CKO's are a major part of spreading the vision and mobilizing the region. Our main goal in a CKO is to awaken the church to the urgency and need for evangelism and discipleship. Especially since it is reported that only 2% of Christians are regularly sharing their faith, and only 4% of this emerging generation are attending church/actively seeking Jesus. It is in these presentations that we help come alongside the local church and encourage them to work with us as we seek God to spur revival in the community. We will ask the church to participate in 3 ways pray, give, and serve. First we encourage them to begin praying for God to reach their community, as well as specific family members and friend that they want to share the gospel with. Then we lead them to seek the Lord to see if they are called to invest financially into this vision, and to give only what they hear from Jesus to give, nothing more and nothing less. The key is obedience, not how much is given. Then we end by asking each believer to volunteer with us and become a part of organizing outreaches in the local high schools and developing a discipleship network that will disciple and reach out the region.

Needless to say we are very busy and excited as we approach this weekend. It will definitely set the tone for this upcoming year in Fargo, and so far it is looking very promising. It would be awesome if you could join us in prayer as we are praying for the local church in Fargo and the surrounding communities. Please pray for the banquet and seminar that they would be well attended and effective in communicating the vision and message that Christ has for the area, and pray for protection and wisdom for all of those are involved in organizing and putting on these exciting events.

God bless,

Matt

P.S. Please join me in prayer as I am seeking the Lord for provision. A major struggle that I am facing right now is finances. The Lord has communicated to me that I am in the right place and to be patient, but I am slowly falling behind on my bills, specifically my student loans. Right now this really is my biggest block to ministry and staying with IWT and spreading the gospel, so I am praying for breakthrough and following God as He directs me. He is more than faithful to provide, but would love some prayer partners!

True Worthiness - The Love of God

Have you ever thought that you were completely unworthy? As a result there was this constant pressure to strive and achieve just so that you could feel important. After awhile you actually thought you were important. You thought you were smart and worthy. Inside part of you actually believed you could do it on your own. Your pride had grown out of control from this one thought; you are not worthy.

You thought the response to this idea was to strive to obtain your worthiness; in fact this is what you were taught and had drilled into you from all those around you. You never thought that seeking God for His vision of you could possibly be the answer. You never imagined that the answer could be admitting your unworthiness to God, so that He would fill you and make you worthy. Then once you learned this truth you didn’t know how to let that truth in and become reality. You couldn’t accept the truth that your worth comes from simply being a child of the most-high God. All that you could hear and believe was that you are not worthy. You must strive to be better, and earn your way; earn your acceptance.

This lie caused you to live in fear. What if I mess up? What if I do not do this right? Am I praying enough? Am I reading enough? Am I righteousness enough for the plans that God has for me? Etc. Every word and message that you heard from God was then filtered through these questions of fear. You never felt truly accepted no matter how many times people told you that you were. You always worried about not doing enough or doing something wrong that would eventually chase those people away from your life. This made repentance and confession hard, which made getting prayers from your brothers and sisters rather difficult, which then blocked the healing and cleansing promised in Scripture that you so desperately desired to be true in your life (James 5:16, 1 John 1:9).

Now with all of this fear and guilt just piling on to you it was impossible to clearly hear and take in the words of God. All you wanted was a word of God to come to you, to comfort you, and to guide you. You heard His words come from sermons and songs. You even heard His gentle whisper as you took time in silence to seek Him, but nothing availed. Every word was swarmed with questions and doubts. This is too good to be true. I only heard that because that is what I want. This could not be God that will never work. This doesn’t line up with His character; as you sought to defend how this couldn’t be true when it probably was, but you were just so scared of being wrong and messing up, and constantly wondering how this would make people think of you. You had to defend and protect the prideful image of yourself that had been created in your mind.

With all of this fear and insecurity you did not know what to believe. All of a sudden ideas and visions from God that you have based your life on started to come into question. Is this all reality or just a pleasant fantasy to hide the pain? Nothing made sense, and you were lost as you tried to protect the prideful obsession of being good and worthy. Your life literally began to fall apart.

Well, as you probably already know, since this is my blog, this is my story. This is where I found myself 2 weeks ago. Pride has infected every area of my life manifested in this one lie, I am not worthy. As a result, I have not been able to make decisions in my ministry because what if they are wrong. Financially, I am a mess because I live off support, but I cannot ask for support because I am unworthy. So, I am in a nest of debt and despair, and feeling completely unworthy to ask for help to get out, instead feeling I should just get a job and leave my calling to make money, because there is just so much uncertainty. And the list just goes on, as it has affected my relationships, my family, and my God, or how I truly view Him.

However, something happened 2 weeks ago. As I prayed with a friend, Joel McGill, God broke in, and He showed me the lie, and He showed me the truth. I am completely unworthy on my own, but I am not on my own anymore. Right now, as I type this, I am worthy, and it has nothing to do with what I have done or will do, but everything to do with God saying I am worthy and speaking that worth into existence. I can do nothing, but in that admittance I can do everything as God does it through me. I cannot come up with a plan to get me out of debt, but God can give me one. I do not have the courage and faith to listen and obey His words, but God will empower me to obedience. I am completely prideful and arrogant and nothing I do will make me humble, but telling God I am hopeless in my pride and need Him will lead Him to respond. He will break through and give me humility, and He will teach and enable me to live empty, so He can fill and radiate through me to do the things I could never do. In fact, I have learned this is what Christianity is all about, God living and loving in us.

So, I have begun a journey to truly learn that it is ok to be weak and broken. I am learning how to live that out, and not just make it head knowledge and lip service. That really does nothing other than causing you to live in hopelessness and despair as you realize you will never measure up, but vainly trying to make the mark anyway. Learning to live this way is so hard. I feel like I am dying every day, as my pride is being peeled off. I feel like God is calling me to things I could never do, and I am just scared. I do not know how to live like this. How do I live without tasks orienting my life, and giving me things to achieve and strive for? I mean that is what has made my days since I can remember. With all of this questioning of what and how God has been repeating to me 3 words every day. “Just love me!” Stop striving and just love me!

In fact, it is the new rule, without striving and legalism, and it is producing something great inside of this prideful person in desperate need of Christ. Nothing else matters. It does not matter how many people you heal or save, or how much scripture you read and memorize. What matters is did you love God? Did I say I love you to Jesus yet? Does the Holy Spirit know that I cannot live without talking to Him, because that is how much I love Him? Does the Father know that I love Him more than all things I ask of/from Him? I do not want to complete my tasks without loving Jesus and knowing He loves me. I want to complete them as a result of that love. I have learned that everything God has asked me to do is only so that I can learn more about Him, and experience more of His love. The task does matter as much as the time spent with God while doing the task. The reason for the journey is Jesus. The task just gives us something extra to do along the way.

Please pray for me as I have a long way to go in this journey of humility and complete reliance on Jesus. I know that I am in desperate need of your prayers. I cannot do this on my own. I have been trying for too long on my own with no results, and God’s promises are stronger than that. The prayers of my brothers and sisters in the faith are powerful and effective. Your prayers are powerful and effective. So please, pray for freedom in the realm of purity, but everywhere. Pray that I would rest in the beauty of God, and the beauty that He sees me in. Pray that I would have the strength and power to continue on the path God is laying, but ultimately pray that I would stop striving, so that God can work out His plan in my life.

I love you, and my prayer is that God’s grace would have already encountered you as you started reading this blog. I pray that with the first word you read you began to feel His tangible presence in your life. May freedom, power, and love reign in your life through the power of Jesus Christ, the Father, and the Holy Spirit. God bless and Amen!

Where I am

I never realized how hard it is to write about myself, but for the sake of keeping people up to date and involved here I go. As I reflect on where I am right now there really is only one thing that I am certain of, and that is the vision God has given me. It is the vision that I have given my life to, and it is what guides my path. I guess you could say I am a slave to this vision, but I would not have it any other way, because while it may control me it also gives me life beyond my wildest dream. Unfortunately, it is a dream and vision that I have rarely articulated and let people know about.

The vision has two main parts, but focuses on one main goal. That one goal is simple. It is to complete the Great Commission, so that every tribe, tongue, and nation may be discipled with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The first part of this vision has to do with a database that is being formed with a group of people. Essentially, the database will link every Christian with a place for them to be able to serve God’s kingdom in their calling and passion. I believe that right now many people are given great visions by God, but have no idea how to get to where God has called them. My vision is that this database would bridge the gap linking people into their God given destiny through multiple steps and interfaces. Ultimately, it is through this database that I believe God will be able to launch a 2^nd Student Volunteer Movement, and if you do not know what that is I would encourage you to google, the Student Volunteer Movement to read about the first one. I believe the database is integral in mobilizing the church to where God desires each individual to be. There is a lot more to do that database, and how that will all unfold but that is a broad stroke of what it is.

In addition, to this global vision with the database, which was not done incredible justice with the paragraph above, God has given me some specific vision overseas. I believe God has called me to be part of a major evangelistic push in the country of Germany that will consume the entire country with the Gospel. As the Gospel begins to take root and bring transformation in Germany it will then launch itself into the rest of Europe. As this grows I believe it will provide the Kingdom with a mission force that will not only be able to mobilize Africa, but will provide the African continent with the infrastructure it has been waiting for. With that infrastructure in place Africa will have the ability to finally launch in mass number its people into the world. I believe that Africa really is a sleeping giant waiting to explode for the Gospel, and I feel God has called me to be a part of it.

In many ways this is my life right now. This huge vision consumes my thoughts and my prayers. It is all I think about. It is often very overwhelming, and I constantly wonder how something so big could ever be achieved. But then I am reminded and remember that it is not my vision. It is God’s and I just need to be patient for Him to act and to tell me to move.

So, why I am in IWT and focused in America. There a couple of reasons actually. First, is that I believe that IWT could have a big part in evangelizing Germany, but only time will tell. It certainly is not in the vision of IWT currently, but it is my dream and vision that one day it will be. Maybe when I actually talk to them about it. Also, IWT is a place of maturity for me. I am surrounded by amazing people who are providing amazing mentorships. God is pruning me. He is developing my character as a man of God, and teaching me how to mobilize and direct His kingdom, which is His calling on my life. Right now God is teaching me a lot of that practicals in that calling.

However, everything is not roses. There are a lot of things that constantly are on my heart. The first is, I constantly wonder if this all is just a fantasy. With how big the vision is I constantly question whether this is me or God, but when I look at the depth and gravity of the vision I realize there is no way someone like me could have come up with this. And then God brings me to a passage in Isaiah to encourage me, Isaiah 49: 1-7, and I realize that I don’t even see all of the vision. Despite how big this vision seems it is still smaller for all that God has for me.

Besides for questioning, I also miss my family a great deal. I hear a lot of their struggles, and wish I could be home. I wish I could be there to help. It is hard not to think that if I was home I could help them. Many of them don’t know Jesus, and not being home makes that reality even harder, because I feel so helpless in sharing with them the beauty of Jesus. My heart weighs for them, and I know that all I can do is put them in God’s hands, which is the best place for them to be. I know God will show Himself to them. I just need to be patient and persistent in prayer and obedient as He leads me to do whatever He is calling me to. Despite the feeling of helplessness I am very hopeful. I know one day they will fall love with Jesus, and He will take away their pain and tears. I cannot wait for that day!

Then there are my finances. Despite constant reminder not to worry, I do. I have almost $50,000 in student debt as interest continues to build on them. I am living on barely $500 a month, but somehow I always get by. God is always faithful. I will need to soon start paying on all my student loans, and those alone will take $700 a month. I figure that I will need to raise soon at least $2000 a month to get out of debt. I wonder where all the money is going to come from. I wonder what I can do in order to make it, and I wonder if I am doing enough. I feel like I need to be more confident in support raising, but with the economy the way it is I feel so ashamed to ask people for their money. Even though I know I am where God wants me it is still hard to be confident and ask. It is a very daunting giant in my life to say the least. In all of this I know God will be faithful. I know He will provide, but sometimes it weighs on my heart, and in those times I need to learn to rest in the character of God.

The last really big struggle is loneliness. I have the best roommates and an awesome family in ministry. But there are still times I long for someone to share it all with. They are not often, but they are there. I know that one day it will happen, and it is these times of loneliness that I see why God said it is not good for man to be alone. However, I also know that I have a lot of growing to do before that can happen. While at times this is horrible it has been really been an amazing time of God showing me that He is sufficient for me, and it is in these times I have learned How awesome it is to have God as my Dad and best friend. And it is these times I hear God clearer than ever and feel His arms embrace me with is warmth.

So, this is where I am right now. I am really excited for what is ahead. The tour in Fargo and Northern Minnesota is really exciting. I am not sure what God is doing yet, but I have an intense expectancy for Him to show up. I feel this season will be really hard, but in that I will learn and grow a lot, and see His Kingdom really advance. Once I get back I will be working to organize a banquet and discipleship seminar that will help spread IWT’s vision for the tour and begin to mobilize the local community and get their input into that vision, which is really exciting for me. The local church is really stepping up, so it should all go well, but I would love your prayers as we lead up to those two events.

Also, right now I am praying into the possibility of taking online classes to continue my education and get my masters degree. I feel a strong draw to seminary again. However, those prayers just began, and I have not received any real clear direction, but really like the possibility. If I did the classes would be online and modular, so that I could stay in the mission field, which I know is where I need to be.

In addition, to that me and the guys are praying into a short term trip to Germany to meet people and just pray into our vision and calling to evangelize the country to get God’s wisdom and guidance.

So, there is a lot going on. But it is so good, and I am so blessed for the life God leads me in. I would not trade it for anything in the world, despite all the questions and ups and downs. It is what I have always hoped for an adventure, a life worth living. It is never boring and always keeps me on my toes, which lets me see God’s power day in and day out.

Well I hope that gives you a look into my heart and life, and would love to talk to you all about any part of that. I am an open book, and want to share my story and life with anyone willing to take part. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope at some level it encourages you and/or spurs you on in your walk with Christ. God bless!

Matt

A "Radical" New Year

We have made it to another year. What will happen this year? How different will we be at the beginning of next year compared to right now? How will we change? How are we going to advance the Kingdom? There are so many questions that run through my mind as I approach this New Year. They are not nagging questions, but ones that make me think, and definitely lead me into prayer. There are so many options and paths to take.

As I look at this New Year I have been brought into it with a really good message. Last week I had the privilege to read a book called “Radical” by David Platt, since I have had time in Iowa to relax with my roommates. I am not sure the effect the book will have on my life, but I think the words in the book are revolutional. I do not mean revolutional in the means that they are new, and are breaking new ground, because actually the words in the book are thousands of years old, because they are really Jesus’ words. They are revolutional because if they are actually taken to heart then things will change, and that is what I am trying to do. I am trying to change. I want to become more like Jesus. I want the sin in my life to decrease, and my devotion to God and His kingdom to increase, and I think the book leads me in that direction.

Simply stated the book challenges all Christians in America to rise above the American dream, which in many cases is keeping us from the beauty of Christianity, which I know is a powerful and controversial statement. For so many the American dream has been what we were taught to live and strive for, so when we say that we are to break free from it well for many of us that is to give up life as we know it, because that is what our life has been, striving for the American dream. It is centered on us and our work ethic. It is about how much we can acquire, the statuses we can achieve, and getting what we want if we work hard enough.

The problem is that centers on us, and even when we bring God into this picture He only becomes a means to an end rather than the end itself. What really becomes god is the American dream, and thus an idol. You see the beauty of Christianity is that we aren’t suppose to do it on our own with our own strength and effort. We are suppose to strive by the power of God, and we are not suppose to strive for some illusive prize. We are suppose to strive for Him. He is the end. The end is not some picture of the perfect life that will rust and be eaten by the moths.

Now the beauty in all of this is that God wants us to make it to Him, so instead of us just working to get to the prize our Prize is also working to get to us. In fact, the Prize has done most of the work, because that is how much He wants us to get to Him. That is the beauty of Christianity. This is what makes the American dream so antithetical to God’s plan. The American dream is soaked in humanism, and puts all the pressure on us, but God’s plan is soaked in Him, and He is more than able to handle the weight. He then gives Himself to us as a gift, and all we have to do is receive. However, to receive Him we have to give the American dream up, and stop striving.

This is hard for two reasons. The first reason is that we have to give up our own life for the sake of receiving God. Whatever we pictured as the American dream we have to say is not as good as getting God, and then let it go because of God’s insurmountable worth. For some that literally means giving up an entire lifetime and considering it lost. Now, that takes a lot of humility and at times repentance. It is hard to say that all that I have been striving for, for so long is worthless because it is not the life that God wants for me.

This is why the words of Jesus to the rich, young ruler are so relevant to us today. God is calling us to a completely different life style that is not about how much we can store up, but about how much we can receive and pour out. It is a huge shift, and for many that is a radical lifestyle. It is radical for generosity and a servant attitude to take over, but that is the fruit and evidence of living in the Kingdom. It is what Jesus’ love motivates us to do, because our only desire becomes to serve and exemplify Him here on earth. This is why we must be freed from the American dream, because it literally is the exact opposite of the life Jesus has designed for us, and empower us to do. We are meant to give and glorify him, but inherently the American dream calls us to acquire and glorify ourselves, but God’s vision for our lives is much bigger than our selves. Praise God!

The other reason that it is hard is that it takes complete faith or trust in a society that makes it hard to trust in anything. And we are living in a system that is all about what you can do, not someone else.

However, Jesus says, “All you need to do is have faith in me and love me. I have made the way for you, and I am preparing a room for you. All you need to do is receive. I will give you all that you need if ask in My name. This is not about you. It is about me and my power. It is about what I can do, and what I can do through you. All you need to do is trust in me and follow me and what I tell you. I will do the heavy lifting.”

Most people just cannot accept this. It sound foolish and/or to good to be true, and it is just scary to lose control in a world that puts all the pressure on you. But when we know our God it makes complete sense, and when we know His love, it casts out all fear. It just takes faith and relationship, and this is where the power of God lies. His power lies in a relationship that gives you the trust and ability to stop striving and to put anything in His hands. This takes away the burdens. It makes the yoke easy, and finally grants us peace. However, it is a shift in paradigm and mindset, which can be tough. It will cause us to kill our pride, and that can hurt. However, if we commit to this it is beautiful, and more than worth the price. It is like a field with a treasure that when you walk upon it you sell everything to by the land and obtain the treasure, because it far surpasses anything you have had up to that point.

This is where I hope my 2011 takes me. I hope this year I break completely free from the American dream into something greater. I want to live in the beauty of Christianity. I want to strive for God, and have Him strive for me, and then we can gloriously run into each other arms embraced in an intimate love relationship. I want to once and for all take the weight of the world off of my shoulders, so that God can be God again, and I can do what He created me for. I pray that this relationship will spur me to do things I have only dreamed before. I want to live in radical abandonment to my own self. I want to give away more than I could imagine. I want to sacrifice for the sake of others. I want to lose my life, my dream, so that I can gain God, and then He can resurrect it in glory and power. This year I want it to be clear which kingdom I serve. No more sitting on the fence. I want to be diligent for God, and completely diligent in seeking Him in everything I do and face. This is the path I am choosing, and will need help and your prayers to stay on, so please join me in being “radical.”

I want to end by thanking David Platt for his book, and taking the time to write it. I know the words he wrote will truly be revolutional in my life, and that God will produce great fruit from them.

Also, thank you God. I love you Dad. Thank You for sending Jesus to bring me to You. May my 2011 glorify You and advance Your Kingdom. Sorry, for when I have fallen short, but thank You for forgiveness and the power to learn and grow from those mistakes that You have already forgotten. You are my Dad, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, my Creator and I could not be happier. Serving and following in love with You was the best decision I have made and the greatest gift I could receive. All praise to You Dad!

For all who read this blog, God bless you! And I pray that you will be empowered to live a “radical” 2011. The world needs it. In fact, it is desperate for it, but then so are you, because it is the life God has destined for you, and it is the best life you could imagine. Therefore, settle for nothing less. You won’t be disappointed. I ask for grace and peace for you, beyond what you could dream and comprehend. In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.

Also, I feel I have not really talked much about myself, my heart, or my dreams, which I feel defeats the purpose of what this blog is suppose to do, which is keep you informed on how and what I am doing. So, I want to give you a better like into all of that. My next blog will hopefully give you a better picture of where I am at, and what I am dreaming and visioning of. I am trying to think of a good way to put all that into one blog, but it will be posted later this week. I love you guys, and thank you for your prayers and support. They literally keep me going, as I purse Christ and His kingdom!