Where I am

I never realized how hard it is to write about myself, but for the sake of keeping people up to date and involved here I go. As I reflect on where I am right now there really is only one thing that I am certain of, and that is the vision God has given me. It is the vision that I have given my life to, and it is what guides my path. I guess you could say I am a slave to this vision, but I would not have it any other way, because while it may control me it also gives me life beyond my wildest dream. Unfortunately, it is a dream and vision that I have rarely articulated and let people know about.

The vision has two main parts, but focuses on one main goal. That one goal is simple. It is to complete the Great Commission, so that every tribe, tongue, and nation may be discipled with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The first part of this vision has to do with a database that is being formed with a group of people. Essentially, the database will link every Christian with a place for them to be able to serve God’s kingdom in their calling and passion. I believe that right now many people are given great visions by God, but have no idea how to get to where God has called them. My vision is that this database would bridge the gap linking people into their God given destiny through multiple steps and interfaces. Ultimately, it is through this database that I believe God will be able to launch a 2^nd Student Volunteer Movement, and if you do not know what that is I would encourage you to google, the Student Volunteer Movement to read about the first one. I believe the database is integral in mobilizing the church to where God desires each individual to be. There is a lot more to do that database, and how that will all unfold but that is a broad stroke of what it is.

In addition, to this global vision with the database, which was not done incredible justice with the paragraph above, God has given me some specific vision overseas. I believe God has called me to be part of a major evangelistic push in the country of Germany that will consume the entire country with the Gospel. As the Gospel begins to take root and bring transformation in Germany it will then launch itself into the rest of Europe. As this grows I believe it will provide the Kingdom with a mission force that will not only be able to mobilize Africa, but will provide the African continent with the infrastructure it has been waiting for. With that infrastructure in place Africa will have the ability to finally launch in mass number its people into the world. I believe that Africa really is a sleeping giant waiting to explode for the Gospel, and I feel God has called me to be a part of it.

In many ways this is my life right now. This huge vision consumes my thoughts and my prayers. It is all I think about. It is often very overwhelming, and I constantly wonder how something so big could ever be achieved. But then I am reminded and remember that it is not my vision. It is God’s and I just need to be patient for Him to act and to tell me to move.

So, why I am in IWT and focused in America. There a couple of reasons actually. First, is that I believe that IWT could have a big part in evangelizing Germany, but only time will tell. It certainly is not in the vision of IWT currently, but it is my dream and vision that one day it will be. Maybe when I actually talk to them about it. Also, IWT is a place of maturity for me. I am surrounded by amazing people who are providing amazing mentorships. God is pruning me. He is developing my character as a man of God, and teaching me how to mobilize and direct His kingdom, which is His calling on my life. Right now God is teaching me a lot of that practicals in that calling.

However, everything is not roses. There are a lot of things that constantly are on my heart. The first is, I constantly wonder if this all is just a fantasy. With how big the vision is I constantly question whether this is me or God, but when I look at the depth and gravity of the vision I realize there is no way someone like me could have come up with this. And then God brings me to a passage in Isaiah to encourage me, Isaiah 49: 1-7, and I realize that I don’t even see all of the vision. Despite how big this vision seems it is still smaller for all that God has for me.

Besides for questioning, I also miss my family a great deal. I hear a lot of their struggles, and wish I could be home. I wish I could be there to help. It is hard not to think that if I was home I could help them. Many of them don’t know Jesus, and not being home makes that reality even harder, because I feel so helpless in sharing with them the beauty of Jesus. My heart weighs for them, and I know that all I can do is put them in God’s hands, which is the best place for them to be. I know God will show Himself to them. I just need to be patient and persistent in prayer and obedient as He leads me to do whatever He is calling me to. Despite the feeling of helplessness I am very hopeful. I know one day they will fall love with Jesus, and He will take away their pain and tears. I cannot wait for that day!

Then there are my finances. Despite constant reminder not to worry, I do. I have almost $50,000 in student debt as interest continues to build on them. I am living on barely $500 a month, but somehow I always get by. God is always faithful. I will need to soon start paying on all my student loans, and those alone will take $700 a month. I figure that I will need to raise soon at least $2000 a month to get out of debt. I wonder where all the money is going to come from. I wonder what I can do in order to make it, and I wonder if I am doing enough. I feel like I need to be more confident in support raising, but with the economy the way it is I feel so ashamed to ask people for their money. Even though I know I am where God wants me it is still hard to be confident and ask. It is a very daunting giant in my life to say the least. In all of this I know God will be faithful. I know He will provide, but sometimes it weighs on my heart, and in those times I need to learn to rest in the character of God.

The last really big struggle is loneliness. I have the best roommates and an awesome family in ministry. But there are still times I long for someone to share it all with. They are not often, but they are there. I know that one day it will happen, and it is these times of loneliness that I see why God said it is not good for man to be alone. However, I also know that I have a lot of growing to do before that can happen. While at times this is horrible it has been really been an amazing time of God showing me that He is sufficient for me, and it is in these times I have learned How awesome it is to have God as my Dad and best friend. And it is these times I hear God clearer than ever and feel His arms embrace me with is warmth.

So, this is where I am right now. I am really excited for what is ahead. The tour in Fargo and Northern Minnesota is really exciting. I am not sure what God is doing yet, but I have an intense expectancy for Him to show up. I feel this season will be really hard, but in that I will learn and grow a lot, and see His Kingdom really advance. Once I get back I will be working to organize a banquet and discipleship seminar that will help spread IWT’s vision for the tour and begin to mobilize the local community and get their input into that vision, which is really exciting for me. The local church is really stepping up, so it should all go well, but I would love your prayers as we lead up to those two events.

Also, right now I am praying into the possibility of taking online classes to continue my education and get my masters degree. I feel a strong draw to seminary again. However, those prayers just began, and I have not received any real clear direction, but really like the possibility. If I did the classes would be online and modular, so that I could stay in the mission field, which I know is where I need to be.

In addition, to that me and the guys are praying into a short term trip to Germany to meet people and just pray into our vision and calling to evangelize the country to get God’s wisdom and guidance.

So, there is a lot going on. But it is so good, and I am so blessed for the life God leads me in. I would not trade it for anything in the world, despite all the questions and ups and downs. It is what I have always hoped for an adventure, a life worth living. It is never boring and always keeps me on my toes, which lets me see God’s power day in and day out.

Well I hope that gives you a look into my heart and life, and would love to talk to you all about any part of that. I am an open book, and want to share my story and life with anyone willing to take part. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope at some level it encourages you and/or spurs you on in your walk with Christ. God bless!

Matt